Why Choose A Family?
The temperature has begun to drop enough at night, that my mind has begun dabbling in the lessons of autumn. Each fall we receive a beautiful reminder from Mother Nature about the power of learning to let go.
Often people with strong and/or healthy families of origin are hesitant to listen to the importance and role family of choice plays for so many. It is common for a family of choice to form after someone (or a group of someones) has experienced a form of trauma or when a person decides to sever relationships with toxic, unhealthy members from their family of origin. I have heard it more than once in a building of worship, “You really should put effort into healing that familial relationship.”
Let’s be honest; it wasn’t even that sensitive. It’s often: “You need to call your dad” or “It can’t be healthy to not have your mom in your life” or “You have to learn to forgive.”
All are often said with good intentions, but we all know what those are good for paving (hint: it’s a road).
So, today I want to invite you to spend some time in self-reflection. Do you bristle or get defensive when someone talks about family of choice, especially when it doesn’t include a story about a healthy family of origin? Can you partner with Mother Nature to let go of some assumptions before Sunday morning? Also, I want to invite you to shift your mental model a bit.
Are you married? That person you held hands with and looked in the eye as you recited your vows is a key member of your own family of choice. What did they offer you in support or care or adventure that was similar or different from what was offered by your family of origin that moved you to committing your life to each other and growing over time together?
On Sunday we will engage one of my favorite books of the bible, The Book of Ruth. It is a short book, and you could even read it all before Sunday easy peasy. Her story is quite beautiful, and she’s one of the few women we have listed in Jesus’s genealogy.
May you have a rich and restful Friday night and Saturday. I can’t wait to worship with you on Sunday at 9:15a.